#why u gotta make him *gestures madly* LIKE THAT

[incorrect-koh-posts]

William of Tyre on Raymond III of Tripoli:

"He was lean and slender of body and fairly tall. He had a handsome face and slightly large nose; brown hair that hung down straight; beautiful eyes and fairly broad shoulders. He was moderate in all things, as much in drinking and eating as in his speech, which was very reasoned. He was wise and showed foresight in time of need, without arrogance. He was more generous to strangers than to his own. In the Saracen prison, he learned a little of letters. When he wanted to find the answer to something, he would freely consult the written word. In the year that he was called to be regent of the kingdom, he married a lady named Eschiva, who had been wife of Gautier, Prince of Galilee. This lady was very wealthy; she had had several children by her first lord, but by the Count she had none. Nevertheless he loved her as tenderly as if all these children had been his own."

- from the Historia rerum in partibus transmarinis gestarum by William of Tyre

[crushingonrazz]

Numbers and Questions

@ollie-oxen-free @queenofbiscuits @gallifreyan-pal @beckyshecky I CHOOSE YOU (you’re tagged and now you have to do this too) But honestly everyone who sees this is now tagged, go!!!!

So I may have stolen this idea from a thing on FanFiction.net. If you are tagged, randomly assign your 12 favorite characters (I stuck purely to the skeletons) to numbers like this:

Pink (ULP)

Red (UFS)

Sans (UTS)

Lust (ULS)

Ink (IS)

Error (ES)

Stretch (USP)

Papyrus (UTP)

Fell (UFP)

Blue (USS)

Razz (SFS)

Slim (SFP)

And then take the questions that I have below the cut and put in your own answers to them with your new list of characters (it works best if your list is truly random), then tag some new people and post it! (tag me too because I really want to see all of your answers and the characters you pick). (also tumblr totally messed up the formatting but whatever you guys get the idea right) I’m going to also post mine in cosos because why not, but I thought it’d be fun to post here!

If anyone has any more questions they’d like me to answer, feel free to send me an ask (i.e. would 3 and 7 make good friends, what would happen if 11 introduced 10 to a life of crime, etc). The questions I have here are more randomized, copied right from the thing, but I definitely don’t mind more purposeful ones being asked.

(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) dumps (1) for (9). (1), brokenhearted, goes on one date with (11), has an unhappy breakup with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).

Pink and Stretch are in a happy relationship until Stretch dumps Pink for Fell. Pink, brokenhearted, goes on one date with Razz, has an unhappy breakup with Slim, then follows the wise advice of Ink and finds true love with Sans.

Sounds like the kind of drama some of ya’ll would love.

 If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

(Papyrus) Me Too by Meghan Trainor, probably. That’s gotta be Paps’ theme song.

 3 told you that she will soon be getting married to 2. What is your reaction?

(Sans and Red) Either a lot of hand-flapping or a sort of “duh”.

 When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

(Ink) It has certainly been a minute. I think I read at least part of Fixing Your Errors by SansyFresh last week? I don’t think I’ve read one about him since.

 6 kidnapped you, why is this?

(Error) Probably because he’s fucking insane? Also it’s not like he’s never kidnapped anyone before.

 Does anyone on your friends list consider Three hot?

(Sans) I’m gonna go with yes because duh. Nope, not at all, no one I know thinks Sans is at all hot.

 If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what warning would it have?

(Pink, Error, and Slim) Oh fucking Christ almighty… I don’t even want to think about it.

 6 is extremely pissed off about something, why is this? And what will you do?

(Error) When is Error not pissed about something, honestly? And I would get the hell out of his way.

 Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

(Ink/Fell or Ink/Blue) Ink/Blue because InkBerry is kinda cute but I’ve never even seen anything about Ink/Fell)

 You and 9 get trapped in an elevator together. What happens? And who are the other random people with you two?

(Fell) Honestly probably sitting in opposite corners playing on our phones or something. I’m not about to bother someone who could and would shut me up in a not-so-fun way if he was feeling like it.  

 Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?

(Red and Error) Uh...no? Probably not? I haven’t really thought about it too much but the idea doesn’t appeal to me.

 8 confessed to be a part of your family.

(Papyrus) I’m just gonna go with it, honestly. Papyrus probably adopts people all the time.

 4 and 5 are having an argument. Why is this?

(Lust and Ink) Knowing Lust, he probably walked up and asked Ink if he could taste the rainbow, and Ink may or may not have threatened to let Error take out his AU.

 Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

(Pink and Papyrus) Oh man I hope so, that would be sweet as fuck. Especially since I headcanon Paps as aro/ace so it would be like a brotp thing probably. But I could see Pink being discouraged at his lack of success with the royal harem and Papyrus would make him comfort oatmeal and they’d watch Ferris Bueller or something.

2 writes you a love song, plays it for you, and then kisses you on the cheek.

(Red) CRUSH.EXE HAS CRASHED

 What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve kissing?

(Stretch, Red and Slim) Depending on his mood? Either back out slowly, or really loudly go “WOW GUYS ARE U GONNA BONE?!” because he’s an obnoxious motherfucker.

 Do you think Four is hot?

(Lust) I don’t think I really have a choice in the matter have you fucking seen him?

 7 cooked you dinner.

(Stretch) What the fuck did you put in it, is this a prank?

 Suggest a title for Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic?

(Stretch and Slim) Uh… Beautiful, it’s True. This question can fuck off.

 9 and 1 accidentally get hooked up on a dating website and are forced to go on a date together.

(Fell and Pink) “Accidentally”, huh, Pink?

 8 gets angry and starts cussing at 6 very loudly. 7 is watching it all and is interested...but why is this?

(Papyrus, Error, Stretch) Because holy fuck Papyrus is cussing someone out, lemme get the popcorn man.

 Do you recall any fics about 9?

(Fell) Oh, y’know, one or two. There’s the occasional UnderFell fic here and there.

 You are about to do something that will make you feel very embarrassed. Will 9 comfort you?

(Fell) Awkwardly and in his own way. He doesn’t quite know how to respond to something like that.

 Does anyone on your friends list read 3?

(Sans) idk guys, have any of you ever read a fic about Sans? Sans the skeleton? Heard of him? He’s the little nerd that loves astronomy and Red and ketchup?

 Would anyone one of your friends list write about Two/Four/Five?

(Red, Lust, Ink) Honestly, Galli would probably write any combination of any of the guys up here. Ollie might if there was a meme involved.

 You're lying on the beach peacefully, and then you turn your head to see 1, 2, and 9, by the water wearing speedos.

(Pink, Red, Fell) I’m honestly not even surprised.

 It's storming outside and 4 allowed you to stay with her at her place until it blows over. And your reaction to this kind gesture is?

(Lust) My reaction to this kind gesture with definitely no ulterior motives at all? Hmmm…..I’d have to think about it…

 Have you read a 6 / 11 fanfic before?

(Error/Razz) Nope and I honestly do not have the inclination?

 5 wakes you up in the middle of the night.

(Ink) Dude I’m sure the multiverse can wait until the morning leave me alone.

 1 asks to talk to you privately. When you are both alone, he admits to you that he is gay.

(Pink) ….Are you absolutely sure because im not really sure you’re sure that outfit is pretty straight dude and im pretty sure ive never ever seen you fuck another dude before sooooooooo (I wouldn’t actually say that don’t get mad at me)

 5 gave you a teddy bear.

(Ink) ...k then????

 You and 10 go out for a picnic. Everything is peaceful until 2 crashes it by showing up and inviting you to go hang out at a cafe. Would you go with 2 or stay with 10?

(10-Blue, 2-Red) WELL FUCK. Way to give me an impossible decision???????? I mean of course I’m gonna go with Red but I’m gonna feel really bad about it for like a whole hour!

 1 walked in on you while you were showering. What is your reaction?

(Pink) This is the third time this week, dude.

 What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

(Slim, Papyrus) He’d step up and be a good dad and Papyrus would go EXTREME BABY SHOPPING.

 You catch 10 looking at questionable material on the internet.

(Blue) I’m not terribly surprised but I am giggling madly every time I look at him or his significant other for like a month afterwards because oh my hell that is so funny to me.

 Make up a summary of a 3/10 fanfic.

(Sans/Blue) Blue never expected his first patient to be quite so upbeat and full of jokes, especially when his clipboard was telling him that this patient was on suicide watch. (oh my god what do I have to do to get someone to write this, I need it now????)

 All the listed characters get into a very epic and all-out battle. Who will be the last one standing?

Okay first of all fuck yes?? Secondly, it’d be Papyrus. Sans is the most powerful person in the multiverse, especially since Ink and Error would be focusing all of their attention on each other and would then narrow down that power. So Sans would be able to take the rest of them out, but would protect Papyrus more than he protects himself. And if it was left as just the two of them? Sans isn’t about to let himself be the one left.

 7 is having relationship problems, 4 tries to help him out but her advice isn't helpful. Your thoughts about this predicament?

(Stretch, Lust) Lust, you can’t just tell everyone to “suck their dick under the table”, that is not a way to solve most problems.

 Do any of your friends write or draw Eleven?

(Razz) *Narrows my eyes most especially at Ollie*

[adrift-in-writing]

Français Between Us - Chapter 4

I’m still posting chapter updates on Tumblr just because.

Read on AO3

______________________________

Lena: SHE KNOWS

Lena: FGKFDJFRSD

Hana: u told her?

Hana: gj my dude. now u just gotta wait. she’ll be eating out ur hand soon.

Hana: or eating you out. ;)

Lena: NO SHE JUST FIGURED IT OUT

Lena: NOT THE TIME FOR THAT HANA!!!

Angie: ...Oh dear.

Lena: SHE MENTIONED YOU SPECIFICALLY ANGIE

Lena: YOU AINT GETTING AWAY FROM THIS SHIT NOW

Angie: And how did I even get hooked in this charade?

Angie: You weren’t even here in the chat yesterday. Past the morning, you sent nothing.

Angie: In fact, outside of that picture I don’t even know your professor. Angie: And stop typing in caps. Calm down.

Lena: Fine.

Lena: But what the fuck do I do?!

Lena: My phone was in her office when I went home

Lena: And next thing I know she suddenly knows

Lena: She just knows!!

Lena: Where’s Lucio when you need him

Hana: at a music thing he mentioned

Hana: but u werent in the chat yesterday to know so.

Lena: Oh.

Angie: Lena, you’re overthinking it.

Angie: As far as I’m concerned she had no business looking through phone messages. Angie: Also, you don’t seem to be phased or deterred. So...

Angie: If you plan on talking to her about it, put on a brave face.

Angie: And if you are for certain you want this to be…a real thing?

Angie: Do it naturally. Get to know her.

Angie: Pretend she is someone you’re interested in as a friend, then move forward from there.

Hana: ^^^

Hana: all this and then some.

Hana: 110% serious? ur overthinking. if its bugging u that much, just ask Hana: like, ask why tf she was peeking through someone elses phone.

Hana: no harm in asking ur professor a simple question right?

Lena: I guess Lena: I’ll talk later I should really get to class

For what it was worth, Lena wouldn’t have to face Amélie today at all if she chose not to. She didn’t have French today, but...she really needed to confront her professor about it.

Whether or not it was over the fact she somehow knew about Angela, or the fact she seemed rather passive and casual about their last informal meeting, something just compelled Lena to confront her professor about it.

And so, she carried some thoughts in her head as the last few minutes of her Mathematics class concluded. She didn’t know if Professor Lacroix would still be in her office, let alone the building be active past this hour. It was a Friday after all, and this week had already been long enough for some.

Nevertheless, as soon as she was able, Lena stuffed her pencils and notebooks into her backpack and made a mad dash for it towards the French department. She brushed past students on their way to the parking lot, but she had no time to apologize.

By the time she had reached the hall where Professor Lacroix’s office was, Amélie herself was seen just about to close the door, after grabbing a refilled bottle of water from the nearby vending machine. A tired expression was rather evident judging by how unrefined her appearance seemed; a bit of her makeup seemed to be smudged in random spots, and her ponytail drooped much lower than normally. Overall, even without the makeup, Professor Lacroix just looked done for the week.

While Lena was observing her professor, Amélie’s eyes made their way to her and she cocked her head to the side.

“Again? This is the third time this week, Lena.”

Sighing disappointedly, her professor was about to go on and lecture Lena on perhaps learning how to make an appointment, rather than walk in clumsily. However, she didn’t get any time to even get those words out before her student stopped her.

“No. I just...wanted to ask you some things.” Lena had said reluctantly, casually brushing her hair from the front to the back. There was a tonal shift in her voice, which had made Professor Lacroix think twice about this...third meeting.

Still though, she wanted to help Lena for all the trouble she was going through. If she had to lie about it, then that’d be fine by her. Even if she knew the truth, that’d still be fine.

But a change of scenery would definitely be nice. It’s a goddamned Friday after all, and Amélie would prefer not to remain a second in her office a minute longer. Since it was nice to drop her sense of professionalism around Lena - and she barely did this for most instances - some nice, fresh air would be good.

“D’you wanna go somewhere?”

As if Lena had been reading her mind, she seemed to have taken the words right out of her brain. In that moment, the professor blanked out for a second. She wasn’t quite sure if she was thinking out loud, or she was just too fucking tired and wanted to go home already.

At least this was a chance to get the hell out and go somewhere. Subconsciously, she simply nodded and didn’t even think about anything but going somewhere.

“Sure. Let me just…”

Focus. She needed to focus. Amélie raised her index finger up to gesture Lena should wait outside. Perhaps some papers needing to be graded in the other class period could wait for later. After all, this was a university...even though Amélie liked being on time and keeping a tight-knit schedule.

As the professor grabbed her purse and keys, she exited out and had locked the door safely for the weekend. Of course, Lena had already cracked open the door out and hadn’t lost that sense of confidence that she had somehow gained, though Amélie was certain she’d crack eventually.

Nevertheless, she went outside and took a breath of fresh air, letting the gentle breeze outside brush against her face. The weather wasn’t too warm, but it wasn’t too cold either, just the way she liked it. At this rate, the actual autumn breeze and weather might come earlier than anticipated.

“What did you want to talk about?” Amélie had wondered, though not glaring directly at Lena.

Her student really wanted to say ‘You looked at my bloody phone why would you invade my space’, but that was rude - and possibly - predictable. So maybe, she’d try and act like this wasn’t anything even though she ran out like a damned idiot earlier. Either that, or be delicate about it. Play the game, but don’t lose it.

Licking her lips, she put on a little brave smile. “How’d you know about my friend?”

Oh, of course this was their topic. Just by her expression alone, Professor Lacroix already had an answer prepared.

“Lock-screen notification. It’s impossible not to notice when I was charging your phone with mine overnight.” She paused, and then shrugged while walking. “Rapid-fire arguments from one friend to another.”

Well, Angie and Hana were known for getting into some arguments over dumb things from time to time, but they’d make it up later. Suddenly, Lena felt like she might’ve overreacted earlier, yet…

It still doesn’t explain why Amélie suggested Lena should listen to Angela. Whether it be she was smart or it was just an educated guess, Lena didn’t know.

A nearby bench in a park on campus seemed to be Lena’s destination in mind. It wasn’t too crowded, and it seemed a rather appropriate spot to just have a chat. She sat down, and a confused Professor Lacroix had been gazing at her.

“A park?”

“Yeah. Don’t like parks?”

Amélie opted to just stand there for a brief moment, preferring not to answer that question. Instead, she just sat down and placed her purse to the left of her. It was outside, at least. But in her mind, the nearby park wasn’t somewhere she’d like to be. After all, it was only some few hundred feet away from her own department building.

Things went quiet from thereon. In Lena’s head, the bugging question of whether or not her phone was invaded lingered, and in Amélie’s mind she really, really did not want to talk about what she read. It still embarrassed the both of them so that they had found out in the most inconvenient of ways.

But, that was fate. And if Lena were to follow through on Angela’s words, she’d have to put on a braver face than the one she already had.

With a deep breath, she turned to face her professor, and softly prodded her on the shoulder. In response, Amélie turned her attention over to her student, not saying a word.

Now or never, Oxton, her mind had told her.

“...Did you look in my phone when you had it?”

A small smile was on the professor’s facial expression now. No point in lying to her any further or beating around the bush. She nodded once, and that was the answer - and way - she chose to portray it as.

By then, Lena covered her mouth and turned away. Muffled ‘Oh gods’ were heard, and a madly blushing student had sat next to Amélie. Her small smile grew into a bigger one as she was trying to hold back a few laughs, even though this was a serious matter.

After Lena had finished melting yet again, she clenched her fists trying to control herself. “Why? Why would you do this?”

By then, Amélie couldn’t hold back laughing anymore and shook her head. “I was looking to see if I could find your address somewhere.” She shrugged ever so casually at the dumbstruck Lena. “I give a damn about my students. Is that too much?”

In response, Lena found herself stammering over her own words again. “B-but that’s literally-- I mean -- No -- you c-can’t just --”

So much for being brave. There she goes again, being a gay mess, stuttering and tripping over her words like an idiot. Something about it seemed to make Amélie cheer up and tend to forget she was tired, though it was probably how stupid or hilarious - or both - this situation was. While her student was stammering, she simply pressed her index finger up on Lena’s lips to silence her.

“So you could get it back by the end of the day.” Amélie calmly spoke, before continuing. “Then I find my student is hopelessly tripping over herself proclaiming she loves me.”

Slowly, Professor Lacroix removed her finger off of Lena’s lips. “And then I see the voice of reason in a group of four saying my student shouldn’t pursue that, and I agree with her. So,” Amélie swiftly turned back to Lena, her tone shifting to a more serious one. “I suggest you listen to her. I don’t want to get fired when they find out I’m dating one of my own students.”

That was when the professor stood up, picking up her purse. She began walking away, presumably to go back to her office - or home, if she had had enough of this campus for one week.

“Adieu, chérie.” Her professor had said to her student, raising her hand up from behind to indicate she was leaving.

And from there, Lena sat in silence. She seemed defeated, and a part of her wished that the conversation they just had didn’t go that way. Hell, she wished that conversation never began. She took some time to consider her teacher’s words, but then…

She recalled something.

‘I suggest you listen to her’.

Immediately, Lena retrieved her phone out of her pocket and checked back on her text messages, scrolling just a bit upwards to what Angie had said to her earlier this morning.

‘And if you are for certain you want this to be…a real thing? Do it naturally. Get to know her. Pretend she is someone you’re interested in as a friend, then move forward from there.’

She’d be doing what she wanted all along and doing what Amélie was telling her, and that was a loophole if she ever saw one before. It was perfect. Far, far too perfect.

Her eyes turned back to the direction where her professor had took off, and in the brief instance, she did see Amélie standing under the shades of the trees, looking over her before turning away to resume her own things. Presumably, Professor Lacroix was expecting her to look back or come after her.

So, maybe this thing could work out. She’d just have to figure things out and do it slowly. After all, she still had a year here. That was more than enough time to do what she wanted to do.

Fuck yes.